Late night rant

Things to get used to.

Real utter complete darkness on my right side. Yes. I wore a patch for the past few months the but it always let some light in. Light. Real light. It's very strange to have none. To see none. I never really thought of that part of this. But - Advantage - When the patch is off I feel a breeze. And when the new eye gets put in. I'll feel a breeze. I'll not have to worry about an eye patch. Or having to attach the damn patch to my head. I will not be missing that little annoying thing one bit!! 

I miss sleeping on my right side. Curling up happily snuggled on my right. I really really miss that. (ie why it's almost midnight and I'm wide awake making a blog post). This little bit isn't permanent but is becoming rather hard to deal with as the days go on. I want my normal sleeping pattern back. I have till Thursday this week to get it back.

I miss bending. I miss being able to try shoes or pick up things I drop. Help unload the laundry. Scoop Gully up from the floor. I miss those things.

It's really hard night. Because the problems I'm having aren't seen. Yes there's a patch on my eye. But really. Compared to an arm sling or crutches to my patch and you're treated very differently. But -in n all honestly. What I'm protecting. The surgery. The stitches. The pain. It's all inches from my brain. My brain!! Not a broken bone. But recovering from surgery on and in my head. It's a friggen big deal. But. Because it doesn't "look" broken. I'm not broken. It's rather annoying at times to feel that because my healing isn't seen. It isn't there. It's not treated as importantly as a broken bone or a sprained writs.

I'm broken right now. I'm healing. I'm sore.
I'm restricted from a lot.
For amazingly good reasons. But. It's all tucked away behind a shut lid.


Well - I'm awake - the morning after my rough night of not sleeping ... I forced myself out of bed at 6:40ish ... I can't sleep in ... cause I'll be back in the same boat tonight. I'm on my own today ... completely for the first time in 2 weeks I'll not have someone here with me. It's kinda neat in a away to have some peace and quiet - but in a way it's not. 

I'll be filling this day with plenty of cups of tea ... a movie ... some hand quilting ... more tea ... and resting ... I'm feeling SO-SO this morning - thinking that to target of working on Thursday seems really OK :) 

Fingers crossed!! :)